Apology Blog

I do apologize for the links posted on my last blog.

I was in a hurry after drafting the text (and to be honest I still need help to post!!), so I opened my facebook and asked one of the girls in my office to kindly post it for me.

Thinking she was helping, (knowing that I lack the technical 'know how') she placed links for readers to make a donation for our 'Walk 2 Wash' project before posting it.  Sadly some of my readers were offended that I should try to raise funds that way. It really was not my intention.

Sorry for that!!! 
  

CHINESE vs FILIPINO

As I have mentioned before, I run a children’s home here in the Philippines (POCCH).  We have over 70 children in our homes including 10 babies/toddlers and 6 children with special needs.

 

Most of our children are children of inmates (who were either living in prison with their parents or were left abandoned when their parents were incarcerated), orphaned, abandoned or abused children whom we rescued.

Sadly in the 25+ years of the existence of our children’s homes we have received very little financial assistance from within the Philippines.  Though our children use in excess of 25 sacks of rice every month, we have only ever been given 2 sacks of rice from the government.

One time a few years ago, a foreign business operating here in the Philippines reached out to help us by giving £100 ($150, P6,000) a month for a  3 month period to help feed 25 of our children.  25 of our children were therefore selected for the program and they had to be weighed every week to monitor their weight gain over the 3 months. 

When I returned from the UK this September I came back to the news that all but one of the washing machines in our children’s homes were broken beyond repair and the remaining machine is hanging on by a prayer.  Our laundry personnel are consequently  reduced to washing all the children’s clothes by hand, which is back breaking work, very time consuming and almost impossible to cope with the load (bearing in mind the extreme heat and humidity which means the children are not able to wear their uniforms more than once). 

I priced how much it would cost for a new machine and it’s around £460 (approx. $750, P30,000) which was well beyond what we could afford.

It so happened that a friend of mine from the UK (who has supported children’s homes in the Philippines for many years), wrote to me and told me that her friend who works for a children’s home in China, did sponsored walk with the children to raise funds.  They were able to raise a massive £8,000 ($13,000, P520,000) from the Chinese people without any outside help.  She thought it might be an idea for us to try.

So we set about planning our sponsored walk project, “Walk 2 Wash” and we were quite excited.

My son designed the logo.  Hope you like it!!!

At least 55 of our children plus workers and volunteers are going to do a 6km walk.

We wrote and delivered 60 letters informing businesses in our locality and  inviting them to either join us or sponsor our children to walk.  We also offered to sponsors that for an additional cost of £12 ($20, P800) we would print their logo on the back of our t-shirts (which a pastor friend is printing for us at a greatly reduced price).

 

My son Nathanael went to follow-up the letters today.  I was really shocked that he had ZERO response.  So far not one Filipino was willing to reach out help a children’s home buy a washing machine.  Actually there was one response.   He was one owner of 3 separate establishments (franchise of famous world wide fast food chains) who wasn’t interested in actually sponsoring the children or the walk, but he was willing to pay £70 ($112, P4,500) for exclusive rights for the printing of his 3 logos on the back of our shirts!!

I found this extremely shocking, especially considering that we were asking in a big shopping area where two big malls have just been erected for people to spend their money on luxuries.

It’s a very sad day for me!!  But I am still hopeful!!

We have one week to go before our “Walk 2 Wash” which will be on the morning of December 01.  I was hoping that the Filipinos would exceed the Chinese who gave so much to support their own. 

I am confident that one way or another we will be able to buy a washing machine. A friend in the UK has already given a slightly used washing machine that my mother is hoping to sending it out to us on a container and we have been promised support from some foreign volunteer friends from the Logos Hope ship.  But I am hoping and praying that there are some Filipino people who will rise to the challenge and will not be put to shame by the Chinese people!!

Bitten Part 3

(Part 2, Part 1)

When I asked Mercy about Precious, she told me that while in hospital she had been diagnosed with meningitis.  They had discharged her from the hospital knowing that they didn’t have money to treat her, and she suffered for several months before she died.

Mercy went on to have a few more children after that.  We fulfilled our promise to keep Paulo in touch with the family even though they lived a 40 minute drive away.  On the way to jail every Tuesday, we dropped him at his family’s home and picked him up on the way back.  We did this until he started school.

Mercy asked me if I would take two of her daughters into our Children’s home too, as they were unable to send them to school.  I agreed at first, until one day they went missing along with Greta’s youngest daughter.  We reported their disappearance to the police and we spent the day and night searching for them.  Fearing the worst, I went to Mercy to inform her about the girls’ disappearance only to find they were there with her.  She found it quite amusing.  She had given the girls money and showed them how to run away and find their way home.  Needless to say, I refused to have the girls back, but was glad to return Greta’s daughter home safe and sound.

Every Christmas Day, Mercy brought her kids to our house to visit Paulo.  One year, I (as I did every year) raided my larder and fridge to send her home with plenty of food for her family and I disappeared to my room to get Christmas presents for each of her kids.  As I was in my room, my mum (who was visiting at the time) stepped out of her room just in time to catch Mercy stealing my wallet (it was actually my 8 year old daughter’s but she had hoped it was mine).  Of course I let her know my disappointment but just let it go.  Every Christmas after that, I met them outside to give the kids their presents out in the garden.

Meanwhile, our life with Paulo at home was rewarding. As Greta worked in my house, Paulo spent most of his time with us too.  He was the same age as my son Nathanael, and we treated him as one of the family.  He shared a birthday with my son Aaron, and we would have joint birthday celebrations.  If I made Aaron a birthday cake, I would make one for Paulo too.  If we celebrated in Mc Donald’s, half of the guests were Paulo’s, and they celebrated together.

When he started elementary school, however, we noticed his behaviour changed. He really struggled because the curriculum at our school was in English, so Greta suggested we enrol him in the public school, which we did.  I paid for a tricycle (motorbike with sidecar, which is a provincial type taxi) to take him to and from school every day.  I later learned, when he was caught stealing in the market, that after the tricycle dropped him at school, he would go to the market all day and just go back to school for his ride home.

Then my children’s Game Boy’s and other expensive items started disappearing.  I suspected Paulo, but my children got angry with me at even the suggestion (years later he confessed to them that he did steal the Game Boys and sold them to his classmates for P20 (30p, 50c).  In the end I had to ask that Paulo not come to our home anymore.

We caught him stealing money from my bag and breaking in to the house of our guests.  We always knew it was one of the children and not just random break ins because there was chocolate missing out of the fridge (a signature we later learned to be his).

When in his teens, my son Rannel caught him after breaking into my husband’s office, but couldn’t give a positive ID as he wore a mask.  Paulo told Rannel, as he ran passed him with a knife, “You’re lucky I didn’t take you out!!”  (He knew our schedule of activities and was not expecting anyone home and Rannel had surprised him!!)

Fearing desperately that he would not break the habit of stealing before he reached the age of 18 and would face criminal charges and a certain prison sentence, I was forced to file a case against him for stealing my kids’ bikes so that he would be sent to a government juvenile detention centre in the hope of rehabilitation.

After 2 years in rehabilitation centre, Greta visited him and he was given a good report, so she agreed to take him back after his release, though I advised her not to do so.  After just days with Greta, he stole everything she had of value.

Knowing our schedule, he’s always known the right time to break in.  We no longer leave the house empty.  Then he started breaking in while we were asleep (I’m told these gangs now use spray gas so that sleeping victims don’t wake).  One time he stole a laptop and 5kg of bananas.  When we looked over our wall, we saw the banana skins!!  He was just mocking us. While I was in the UK this summer, he broke in while people were sleeping and stole my jewellery (given by my husband and mother).  We now lock our bedrooms at night.

And now he has progressed to entering the house even when there are people awake.  Just 3 weeks after I arrived in the Philippines, while there were 4 people in the house, he waited until they were all busy in their rooms and entered through the front door, went straight to my bedroom and got my iPad and iPhone.  Yes, the iPad my family bought for my 50^th birthday.  Ugh!!  Now we lock our bedrooms even when we are home!!

When I went to report the incident to the police they told me, “Just tell us that you saw him, so we can arrest him!!” Of course I could not lie.  They told me they know him well.  He is a known leader of a group of young thieves and is heavily into drugs too.  He also needed money to settle a case filed against him by a local department store.

They say there are people who “Bite the hand that feeds them”, well, I am well and truly BITTEN!!  But it is him I pity.  I don’t want him to reap what he sows, but that will happen one day.  I hope and pray that he comes to his senses before it’s too late!!

Bitten Part 2

(Part 3, Part 1)

For the protection of identity the names in this story have been changed.

The next morning when I stepped out of my bedroom, I couldn’t believe my eyes, the child’s parents were sitting in my lounge…..

Continued

They had changed their minds and they asked me if I was willing to take care of little Paulo.

Of course I was overjoyed.  But when I asked what prompted the change of mind, I was shocked by their response.  They explained that while they had been toing and froing from the hospital, their 4 month old baby Precious (while supervision of their 8 year old daughter) fell.  She had consequently sustained a head injury and she too had been confined in hospital under observation.  They needed someone to care for Paulo while they attended to Precious. 

As the mother Mercy looked around she said to me, “Oh!!  You have kids of your own?  I thought you just wanted Paulo because you had no kids!”  I assured her that I didn’t need more children, I was merely concerned for Paulo and wanted to help.  I promised them that they wouldn’t be losing their son but we would make sure he had regular visits with his family as soon as he was strong enough.  This was clearly a relief to the father, because Paulo was their only son.

It was all systems go.   I arranged for some of my workers to help with the “bantay” shifts and I went shopping to get everything needed for our new POC family member.  Our children’s house was not properly established at that time, but our workers were quite eager to have another baby around and were willing to make any necessary sacrifices. 

Greta was particularly keen as she was a single mother with 5 girls and had always longed for a son. She and I went to the hospital laden with milk, bottles, kettle, water (of course!!!) clothes, toiletries, nappies (diapers), bedding and an electric fan.  Greta kindly offered to clean him up as he clearly   hadn’t had a wash in weeks and the stench was quite nauseating.  Can you imagine the combined   smells of sweat in an overcrowded hospital ward with temperature in the 90’s, no fan or air-conditioning, 90%+ humidity and a child who hadn’t bathed in weeks with diarrhoea and infection? If you have that smell in your imagination, then multiply it by 10 and you might be close!!! That was the state of poor little Paulo.  But we all loved him.

Of course we gave some financial assistance for the medical needs of Precious.

Slowly but surely, Paulo began to improve, until he was eventually discharged.  I remember taking him to the outpatients department and holding him tightly as they lanced his buttock and extracted a full bowl of pus (nana).

It was months before he was strong enough to sit up on his own, but we all rejoiced at every sign of progress.

True to my promise to his parents, as Paulo got stronger we arranged to take him to visit his family. 

Mercy agreed to wait by the highway to accompany me to their home.  She took Paulo in her arms, sprung to her feet and led the way up the hill. She stepped over rocks, skipped from one  stepping stone to another, through the brook and balanced across logs as if she was Tinkerbell, while I scrambled on all fours trying to keep up without putting my life in danger!!.  When we reached their house I thought it small and there was no bathroom but least they had a bedroom upstairs for the kids.  The downstairs bedroom/lounge/kitchen had just a mud floor, a wooden bench for a bed, and a clay stove in the corner.  

There were no chairs, so I sat on the bed and we discussed the children’s progress.  She told me that Precious was ok (though I observed her to be unusually quiet, unresponsive and often raised her little hands to her head as if in pain, but she uttered no complaints).  Paulo on the other hand was already gaining strength quite fidgety (malikut) and always looked for milk and biscuits!!

As we chatted, water started to pour down from the ceiling.  Mercy started to giggle and then she told me that was pee.  The family living upstairs had a baby and couldn’t afford diapers, so every time their baby peed (or worse) they got showers of blessings below.  So that tiny, wooden house without a bathroom or running water, was home to two families, and the bed where I sat was shared by a family of six!!! 

Paulo’s dad was not home that day as he was at work.  We often saw him walking the streets with the polystyrene box of ice lollies that he hoped to sell in order to support his family but often returned disappointed.

It was clear that Paulo was stood a better chance of full recovery with us and the parents were content knowing that they would get to see their son regularly.

The next time I saw Mercy, there was no sign of the baby.

Watch out for my next blog and find out what happened to Precious and finally how I was 'bitten'.